A question I’ve been asked a number of times recently is how do I maintain my lavish life-style? The answer is simple, my life-style isn’t particularly lavish but many people find me so fascinating that they project their fantasies onto an image they create of me. It should go without saying that if you know your way around the place, then London can be a very cheap town in which to live. I very much doubt I could survive as easily in New York or Paris, although someone born in those places may be able to do so. However, to satisfy those who dislike rational explanations I shall add that I have multiple personalities that run into six figures and each one of them earns a living in a different way – some as gangsters, others rob banks, one has been bleeding a hedge fund dry, and all of them earn me a fortune as I sleep! You too could be making money as you shower, but to do so you need to buy all my books and read them carefully so that you can decipher the coded messages they contain. Hot tip: the coded messages only manifest themselves to those who buy my books, so borrowing them from a library or a friend just won’t work!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!
Tags: books, lavish life-style, London, make money, make money while you shower, make money while you sleep, New York, Paris, rich and famous, Stewart Home
I’m curious to know how London could be a cheap town. Pray, do tell! Although I suppose I could say the same about New York – although possibly the New York of a few years ago, not now. Cheap New York seems to have been banished. By decree.
Your multiple personalities only run into six figures? Mine run into ten, and I thought we were ultimately supposed to be the same person! Don’t you know the first thing about yourself?
Another excellent piece from that notorious skin-flint SH
He never buys me flowers, he spends all his spare cash on single malts!
Any drug dealer who is sensible and doesn’t dip into his sales bag can make more than enough to survive!
you make interest on every thought anyone ever has of you
if not then you’re being done
If you’re as out of it as me then you only have partial thoughts and no one can reasonably charge you interest on those….
If you like house music then you’ll love the life-styles of the rich and famous!
You don’t blog enough about knitting…. we need more knitting and less of this egotistical stuff.
Ask Johnny Moped.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UI48HKarcY&NR=1
Johnny Moped in 1974 —
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=7592877
He’s made a pact with the devil… I bought a horse from him and he told me not to ride it into the river, so I rode it into the river and it turned into a bundle of straw!
Hey, the knitting pattern revolution starts here!
And of course, one vital stage in maintaining a lavish lifestyle is to falsify your credit rating – and then publish a pamphlet that has nothing to do with giving directions on the easy way to falsify your credit rating but instead contains some hot communist propaganda, laughing all the way to the offy (but not Thresher’s) for a bottle of Spingbank with the proceeds. Well, so I’ve heard…
Any fool can tell you that you don’t have to be a billionaire to live like a billionaire; but you gotta have a lot of brains and front to live a life-style you seriously can’t afford!
autumn rain not knitting but macrame
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIjGZTxlunQ
Belle de Jour not Stewart Home shocker!
http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article6917260.ece
I just took out a bank loan and re-bought your books. I must have read them ‘wrong’ last time, since I am none the wiser, and thought I better have a clean break and try again.
But when I showered this morning I lost £3.76 in loose change, largely owing to the fact that I was not wearing my trousers and the cheap-assed rent boy who’d spent the night filched it out of my slacks pockets then scarpered!!!
Note to all readers: Always wear your pantaloons in the shower!
Note to all rent boys: Cross me and I shall forward your details to the relevant regulatory authority, BBC’s Watchdog and your Pimp.
Stewart Home IS Belle de Jour shocker!
http://photos.thefirstpost.co.uk/assets/library/071120people_billie–119555952843195000.jpg
At least he only filched the cash from your trews….