1. Elegantly – that’s with a massive advance from a production company or publisher and no audience!
2. Spectacularly – as success slips from you’re fingers you realise that in a few moments you’ll be dead!
3. Hypocritically – by being evil when your motto is ‘don’t be evil’!
4. Hypothetically – that’s when your visualisations of your future success are so good you can’t be bothered with the actuality.
5. Happily – by realising that you didn’t want a house in the Hollywood Hills or to be chased around by the paparazzi anyway.
6. Secretly – since all success is relative and is ultimately an illusion.
7. Excessively – by falling down assorted search engine rankings after massively over-optimising the SEO on your website and being penalised for it.
8. Technically – due to injury you escape without personal blame for your lack of success.
9. Categorically – by aiming too high and trying too hard (i.e. by willing something that could never become so-called ‘universal law’).
10. Ethically – by being unfaithful to everything you ever believed in (especially if that happens to be the sanctity of marriage or monogamy).
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!