Archive for May, 2012
Tuesday, May 29th, 2012
There are many ways to make yourself stand out online and one of them is to do things in the worst or most boring way possible. Since this blog is mainly an outta sight groove sensation I figured a few really boring posts would draw both interest and attention to how good most of what I put up here actually is! And obviously the best place to start when aiming for ennui is with something that is not only dull but also frustrates us all – such as supermarket stock control.
Like many people I get my shopping in a number of outlets in order to obtain everything at the cheapest possible price. Now Waitrose isn’t a store I buy that much in but I do dig the Village Bakery Rossisky Organic Rye loaf they stock (made without wheat and with no added bakers yeast) – which is way better than the crummy packaged slices of rye bread stocked by the likes of Tesco and Sainsburys. To achieve best value I get the 800g rather than the 400g Rossisky rye loaf. However, at least half the times I go to buy one of these, Waitrose are sold out of the large and only have the smaller loaf. Which means going back again to get the bread later. Likewise, right now Waitrose have Lavazza coffee on offer so it is the cheapest place to buy it – if they have any in stock, because unfortunately whenever Waitrose have anything on offer it is usually cleared off the shelves when I go to look for it.
Tesco rarely have the non-dairy brands of milk I want in stock regardless of whether they are on offer or not. And that shouldn’t be a problem right now because Alpro Soya Milk is on offer in Waitrose. Unfortunately but unsurprisingly when I went into a Waitrose a couple of hours ago all the on special offer soya milk had gone. I could run through all the different supermarkets I use and how they fail me in terms of stock control but I won’t (that would take us way beyond most people’s boredom threshold). The grocery chain that rarely lets me down is Farm Foods but then there’s really only one thing I get there – Nicky bog roll (the best value toilet paper on the market – 18 generous rolls for £4). The problem with Farm Foods is, of course, they have no stores anywhere near the centre of London – the closest is in Walthamstow, doh!
So there you have it, supermarket stock control not only effects our lives it is also quite possibly the most boring subject you could pick to blog about. Of course I could continue with this subject for thousands more words – but that really would be too much!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!
Tags: Alpro Soya Milk, bog roll, boredom, ennui, Farm Foods, Lavazza Coffee, London, Nicky Toilet Roll, Rossisky Organis Rye, rye bread, rye loaf, Sainsburys, stock control, supermarkets, Tesco, Viillage Bakery, Waitrose, Walthamstow
Posted in food and drink, humour | 23 Comments »
Saturday, May 26th, 2012
Recently I’ve become hyper-aware of not being able to concentrate on readings by writers who stand or sit really badly. Is this a problem for anyone else? It seems to be particularly bad amongst poets although I also notice it with some fiction writers. I just can’t take in what someone reading their work is saying when they place way too much weight on one side of their body throughout their performance, or if they’re slumped really badly. Instead of paying attention to their work, I’m just fixated on the aesthetically unpleasing way in which they hold themselves!
Too many of the poets (in particular) who I see performing look like they spend all their time reading and writing – or else combining those activities with a university job (or some similar time wasting white collar employment). They either need to use a gym or get a labouring job, so that they shape up their bodies and gain better posture… and if more poets don’t start doing this then I’m going to boycott their readings!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!
Tags: poetry, poets, posture, readings, standing tall, writers, writing
Posted in books, literature, performance | 23 Comments »
Monday, May 21st, 2012
When my show Again, A Time Machine opened on 5 April I broke all records for attendance at a Space Studios event in London. I had another great turn out for the close of the exhibition last night. But then that’s hardly surprising. First off there were readings by Katrina Palmer, Bridget Penney and me. I kicked off with a couple of pieces from old books (Memphis Underground & 69 Things To Do With A Dead Princess), and concluded this section of the evening with my usual headstand reading from Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie. Katrina read a couple of new stories and a passage from The Dark Object – part of the Semina series I edited for Book Works. Bridget read a long passage from Index – also included in my Semina series.
After that there was music in the courtyard (mostly selected by me although after a couple of hours someone else took over on the tunes front) and a barbecue. There was also plenty of booze. But better yet there were kung fu films inside where we’d had the readings earlier. First off Godfrey Ho’s schlock po-mo classic Scorpion Thunderbolt (1988). Fight and sex scenes featuring b-movie micro-star Richard Harrison are cut fairly randomly into a Hong Kong horror movie that’s been bought off the shelf. Copyright is infringed left, right and centre, on the soundtrack – the most extraordinary example being the use of Jean Michel Jarre’s Oxygene for a sex scene in a porno cinema!
We followed this with Jimmy Wang-Yu’s Master of the Flying Guillotine (1976) – another copyright infringing martial arts classic! Aside from a shed load of crazy and entertaining fights, the flick also boasts an uncleared kraut rock soundtrack, making it a truly formidable example of cultural hybridity. Many of those present who were unfamiliar with these movies were truly amazed by what they’d been missing out on…. Unfortunately I didn’t get to see them projected onto the big screen because I was talking to more people than I can remember…. I won’t attempt to list them all but among the more recognisable art world figures I will mention Clunie Reid, Elizabeth Price, Simon Bedwell and Chris Dorley-Brown.
And even those who opted for nosh, booze and chat in the gallery courtyard had a great time – since I’d programmed so many groovy sixties and seventies soul sounds. And of course everyone also had a final chance to take a gander at my fabulous mini-retrospective! Yes it was so great someone stole a piece of work at the opening – not that this was the first time this had happened to me; you’d have to go all the way back to the opening of Desire In Ruins at Transmission Gallery in Glasgow (May 1987) to unearth the initial incident of this type in my art world anti-career! And finally many people were left spaced out at Space – suffering from Stendhal Syndrome after getting to take in some of my visual work!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!
Tags: 69 Things To Do With A Dead Princess, Again A Time Machine, Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie, Book Works, Bridget Penney, Chris Dorley-Brown, Clunie Reid, Desire In Ruins, Elizabeth Price, Glasgow, Godfrey Ho, Index, Jean Michel Jarre, Jimmy Wang Yu, Katrina Palmer, kraut rock, London, Master of the Flying Guillotine, Memphis Underrground, Oxygene, Richard Harrison, Scorpion Thunderbolt, Semina, Simon Bedwell, Space Studios, Stendhal Syndrome, The Dark Object, Transmission Gallery
Posted in counterculture, culture gossip & parties, exhibitions, film | 21 Comments »
Friday, May 18th, 2012
Nick Lezard is a journalist with a reputation for championing the overlooked when it comes to books (as well as for being able to drink any writer you care to name under the table). I wouldn’t normally make the effort of going to west London for a birthday bash but last night I made an exception as I’ve known Nick for some time now. OK so Marylebone is virtually in central London – but these days it is rare for me to take a tube as far as Edgeware Road unless I’m going to Paddington Station or Heathrow Airport. And as far as I’m concerned anything the other side of Regent Street is west London anyway….
When I turned up fashionably late at The Duke of Wellington in Crawford Street, Nick asked: “Where’s Tom McCarthy?” I’d introduced him to Tom, so it became my job to phone McCarthy and find out why he wasn’t present. Sickness was the answer. Nick had plenty of old friends around for his birthday drinks. Nonetheless, he told me he was amused when Tom and Polly Samson (as well as yours truly) had all told him we were coming. He liked the eclecticism of the writers who’d announced they’d attend his do. Samson turned up, so two out of three ain’t bad! Besides, as far as opposites go you couldn’t do much better than Samson and me.
Samson seemed to be enjoying herself and I had a bit of a laugh by bringing up one of her friends and calling him Trike (a deliberate mispronunciation on my part). I didn’t let on that I’d met him at the launch of a Joe Boyd book and he’d been banging on about his connection to Pink Floyd. This old school rock group are of no interest to me – but Samson has sung with them and co-written some Floyd songs in recent years (although she’s best known as a journalist).
Ultimately I didn’t have much to say to Samson and vice versa. It only occurred to me later that I should have told her that while I found her son Charlie Gilmour swinging off a flag at the student demos in 2010 mildly amusing, it is much better to burn the Union Jack…. Maybe Nick was right and if Tom McCarthy had been present we’d have had more cross-talk – given three very different cultural and social perspectives. I didn’t bother telling Samson my mother (Julia Callan-Thompson) saw Pink Floyd quite a few times in London back in the sixties when Syd Barrett was still in the band (way before Samson’s involvement)… That said, when my mother saw Pink Floyd she didn’t pay them that much attention since she preferred the likes of The Incredible String Band and Bob Dylan. Personally I’m much more entranced with my mom’s slightly earlier musical obsession with modern jazz than her folk rock and psychedelic period.
Anyway the booze flowed freely and everyone at Nick Lezard’s birthday drink up had a good time – even if some truly diverse worlds failed to fully meet….
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!
Tags: Bob Dylan, Charlie Gilmour, Crawford Street, Duke of Wellington, Edgeware Road, Incredible String Band, Joe Boyd, London, Nick Lezard, Pink Floyd, Polly Samson, Stewart Home, Syd Barrett, Tom McCarthy, west London
Posted in culture gossip & parties, Julia Callan-Thompson, music | 22 Comments »