1. Bottle of good whiskey. Get blind drunk and simply sleep until you’re over the cold!
2. A hot sauna and followed by a dip through an ice hole into a frozen lake – then get a hot friend (straight from the sauna daddio) to beat you with birch twigs!
3. A date with a snot sex enthusiast – if you develop performance anxieties about doing the shag nasty with someone who wants to be covered in you mucus during sex, you may well find your cold symptoms drying up!
4. Eat a double helping of vindaloo curry and run your cold out of every orifice in your body!
5. A flu jab (the boring solution – and it’s prevention not cure).
6. Run a nude mini-marathon (the hair of the dog cure)!
7. Sex magick – of course the magick doesn’t work but the power of auto-suggestion just might!
8. Nude swingers tantric yoga – starting with deep breathing exercises of course!
9. Count backwards from a hundred billion to one – by the time you finish your cold will be gone!
10. Suicide – this is the extreme solution but it works every time! Once you’re dead you’ll never have a cold again!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!