1. Metrosexual – self-consciously middle-class and faux-sophisticated; some are simply wankers whereas others claiming this label are utter pricks.
2. Undersexual – just not getting any.
3. Autosexual – a wanker and proud of it.
4. Retrosexual – the moth-eaten comfort blanket of a memory AKA nostalgia dating.
5. Pansexual – desperate enough to be up for anything including the five-knuckle shuffle.
6. Asexual – so in love with yourself you’re not interested in anybody else.
7. Monosexual – the not so silent majority (a post-modern wall of sound) who never tire of the same old thing, or themselves!
8. Polysexual – see pansexual above.
9. Pornosexual – fans of dirty movies and one-handed reads.
10. Octasexual – those who are attracted to men, women, he-shes, transvestites, animals, inatimate objects, food and jerking off.
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!