Posts Tagged ‘Technorati’

Instant Blogs

Sunday, February 5th, 2012

Instant blogs were first marketed in the USA in November 2002 under the brand name Technorati. The Technorati platform was founded by Dave Sifry, with its headquarters in San Francisco, California. Tantek Çelik was the site’s chief technologist – obviously they should have used someone else. The fact that Technorati is virtually useless can be demonstrated by the fact that it’s link to the feed from my rss worked for a few months and hasn’t uploaded anything now for more than two and a half years. Technorati’s ranking system is equally stupid and promotes tired and conventional views at the expense of innovation and smart thinking. The content of instant blogs has varied over the years, but with the maturation of Web 2.0 now generally consists of the following:

3 parts bullshit (can be cut & pasted from other blogs).

2 parts worthless opinion (can be cut & pasted from other blogs).

1 embedded video.

Seasoned with lots of pictures.

Mix all together.

Serve on WordPress, Blogger or LiveJournal.

Can be fortified with swear words! Fuck, cunt, motherfucker, shit, etc.

Can be thickened by adding gratuitous insults or spam links!

Instant blogs are on the whole self-referential, narcissistic and not quite vicious or crazy enough to keep me entertained. By way of contrast I’m sexy, seductive and smart! I’ve also gone beyond narcissism to become an ego-maniac on a world historical scale; and I’m so self-referential that my tongue has not only disappeared up my own arse, it has emerged once again from my mouth! No one makes an instant blog the way I do – compare and contrast and you’ll find this one is better than anything else on the net! Sarcasm and irony can only take you half-way there – you also need infinite, absolute negativity. And I’ve got that in spades!

And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!

10 Reasons Not To Blog

Sunday, October 16th, 2011

1. These days most of those surfing the web prefer reading status updates to blogs – it takes less time.

2. You can’t see the trees because of the astroturf. Likewise, you’ll get way more link spam than comments from people who’ve actually read your content.

3. If you write something over 800 words in length virtually no one will reach the end.

4. To get a point across you have to keep repeating it, which is boring after a while.

5. No one is interested in what you’ve got to say – not even your mom (although she’ll be monitoring your web activity because she suspects you’re taking drugs and wants ‘proof’ before she confronts you about it).

6. People are conditioned for instant gratification and just click through to a new page every few seconds.

7. Technorati really sucks – the rss feeds they take from blogs like this get screwed around at their end and the posts don’t show up on their site.

8. No one trusts the views of bloggers because of the way PR companies have attempted to manipulate this medium.

9. Sometimes it’s really difficult to even think of ten points to create a formula blog, and you waste an hour on a post instead of getting it done in five minutes.

10. Blogs have gone out of fashion because they are like so noughties.

And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!

Another banned YouTube video is now available via Vimeo

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

I reported on an earlier YouTube banning of my work in a blog I posted in September, and shortly after I’d written that YouTube pulled another video of mine, Nude In Melbourne. The point of the second piece, which was clearly lost on YouTube’s half-wit censors, is that I may or may not be nude in this short: you can’t tell because anything that might break the YouTube rules is hidden by a camera… but that didn’t stop the platform from banning it. However, the video is now available again via Vimeo:

<http://www.vimeo.com/7103351>

Due to the hassles I’ve been getting from YouTube, I decided to post my recent video Two Strippers straight to Vimeo:

<http://www.vimeo.com/7217171>

Nonetheless I’m continuing to amuse myself by posting selected pieces to YouTube. Recent additions to my profile there include I Wanna Die In The TV (which realises my desire to bring back the test card back), William Burroughs In Hell (two jokes with some groovy visuals) and In The Street Today – Paris (a psychogeographical exercise inspired in part by the camerawork of Stephen Dwoskin).

Raymond Anderson recently pointed out that ‘you tube’ is a common insult in Scottish playgrounds, and thus a very appropriate name for a platform that has its brains in its arse as far as understanding its own rules on forbidden material goes. While all corporate web 2.0 operations are selectively blind, deaf and dumb, when it comes to appraising content it seems that YouTube is consistently dumb, thick and stupid….

I’ve also found it curious in recent weeks how frequently both YouTube and Facebook have been either down or failing to function properly. While I don’t want to completely ignore those whose web use is largely restricted to corporate social networking platforms, we still need to get it on with web 2.0 software on our own sites: which is, of course, one of the reasons this blog is to be found here.

And talking of corporate platforms that don’t work, the Technorati overhaul last month resulted in some major glitches. My own entry has lost all my fans, comments, and it now links to the homepage of my website instead of this blog (with the result that the feed has lost all my blog entries and all my ‘authority’). I’ve emailed Technorati to tell them this, since I’m unable to do anything about it by logging-in, but of course they’ve done sweet FA about it. I always thought Technorati was a waste of time anyway, and this just serves to underline that!

And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!

Nick Hornby never had days like these!

Monday, July 20th, 2009

Recently a friend suggested I try to acquire some Russ Henderson vinyl I wanted via Discogs. I’d landed on this site a few times but had never really investigated it. When I checked it out, I was disappointed to find only two Russ Henderson titles were listed there, the 1966 vinyl album Caribbean Carnaval! (sic) and the CD compilation London Is The Place For Me 2, which features a Henderson track taken from Caribbean Carnival; only the latter was available in the Discogs marketplace, but needless to say I already had both it and the release it is taken from. I double-checked my copy of the 1966 vinyl and ‘Carnival’ is spelt correctly on the sleeve and labels, the spelling error had been generated in the Discogs listing, although I’ve now amended it.

My interest in Russ Henderson stemmed originally from the fact that he lived in a flat beneath my mother at 24 Bassett Road way back when in the sixties. He is also a supremely groovy, if sometimes overlooked, musician. A few years ago I went into a used record shop in Bexhill-On-Sea, and was flipping through some sixties vinyl when the owner asked me what I was looking for. I told him I wanted anything by Russ Henderson other than Caribbean Carnival. He told me he was an expert on rare records but he’d never heard of this act. I explained that Henderson was a highly regarded jazz musician but that he’d also led the first steel band on the streets of London. The shop owner asked me if I was looking for anything else. I told him I wanted some releases by The Global Village Trucking Co. He proceeded to scream at me to get out of his shop, wailing as I left that he was a vinyl expert and I must be making up names because he’d never heard of this band either. In reality, the vinyl nerd simply didn’t know the depths of his own ignorance. My mother, Julia Callan-Thompson, had been acquainted with The Global Village Trucking Co. The Globs, as they were fondly referred to on the seventies free festival circuit, don’t particularly groove me; but I was still interested in getting my mits on their releases for research purposes primarily…

The Globs aren’t too well served on Discogs either, they don’t even have their own page, just entries for their appearance on the double compilation album Greasy Truckers Live At Dingwalls Dance Hall. When I looked there was no sign of The Globs sole long player at Discogs. This served to remind me that I’d missed the documentary BBC4 broadcast on The Globs then (1972) and now (2008) last year… and it ain’t available on BBC ‘Watch Again’  either! Having investigated a few records that had some connection to my mother’s life at Discogs, I figured I might as well go the whole hog by moving on to looking at myself.  When I searched for myself on Discogs, I turned up an artist profile, but again the discography was very partial. I have four albums to my own name, three fiercely independent productions and one that came out on Paul Smith’s King Mob label which was also indie, but distributed by Sony. Strangely this latter title, my best distributed and promoted record, was missing from Discogs. Likewise, the list of releases I either appear on or contribute tracks to was very patchy.

So I figured I’d join Discogs and add my missing releases. That said, I found completing and submitting the form for my King Mob album Pure Mania such a pain in the ass, that I’m not sure I can be bothered to add my missing compilation and guest appearances. What do you think? Should I go for it or is this wasted effort? I certainly can’t be arsed to add other omitted King Mob releases; such as  Ken Kesey in the form of recordings made of the Acid Tests, and Charles Bukowski. At first I was surprised by what I couldn’t find on Discogs, but gradually the limitations of the site began to make sense to me. It suffers from all the faults that disfigure huge swathes of the web, since it is both a market place and a popularity contest (other people vote on the accuracy of your submissions). The only reason I can see to add items to Discogs is either because you have a copy you want to sell, or because it is a release on which you feature. The idea that someone would upload all the items from their record collection not already on Discogs is mind-numbingly depressing; the term anorak isn’t insulting enough to cover a saddo of this calibre! A series of searches showed I have several dozen releases not currently on the site – ranging from Eddie Bo (whose discography is incomplete) to Ward 34 (whose only single isn’t listed, yet anyway) – and if I was to do a thorough investigation, I suspect I’d find what I have that isn’t there runs well into three figures…

Just in case you’re interested, my still rather partial profile on Discogs can be found here. Likewise, I mentioned Technorati earlier this month, and following on from that I joined BlogCatalog. If the aesthetics of boredom really grove you, then you could do worse than check out the latter site, starting with my page, of course, which is here.

And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!

Anyone got a good use for Technorati or LastFM?

Monday, July 6th, 2009

Last week I took control of my tunes and spoken word pieces on LastFM. I’d noticed that various parties had been uploading my tracks there and figured it was about time I did something about it. I don’t have a problem with people file exchanging my tunes, but drum and bass label Moving Shadow had uploaded my spoken word album Cyber-Sadism Live! and totally destroyed the flow of that album by re-ordering the tracks. Of course, anyone can listen to the tracks from Cyber-Sadism Live! any which way they want, but with the original running order restored you can listen to the live sets collected there as they were performed, if that’s what you wanna do!

Having claimed my LastFM profile, I find myself lumbered with a 25 page list of ‘similar artists’ that some jokers have suggested over the past year or two. Those allegedly making audio similar to mine include DJ Spooky, Philip Glass, Paul Bowles, Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy and Herbie Hancock. If I sounded like Herbie Hancock I’d be a very happy man – but let’s face it, I don’t! And if I sounded like Phillip Glass, I think I’d kill myself! Anyway, you can hear my punk rock tunes and spoken word pieces for free and even get free downloads at:

http://www.last.fm/music/Stewart+Home

If you wanna contribute track descriptions and other infotainment to accompany them, that will save me the effort of writing up this schlock myself! I assume you’d need to be a member of LastFM to do this, but it doesn’t cost anything to join.

Moving on, I recently got around to joining Technorati, the search engine and site dedicated to the blogosphere. Does anyone have any good uses for this site? Like so much of the web it seems to be a pointless popularity contest, so those with the most links get featured and the content I’ve seen as a result of this tends to be incredibly lame and inane. I’ve yet to find anything via Technorati that actually interests me. So far the most useful thing I’ve done on Technorati is big up some of my friends. I’ve favourited those of you I’ve found, and written a slightly lesser number of enthusiastic blog reviews too. I don’t know if this will do you any good, but if you want to return the favour then you can find me at the following url:

http://technorati.com/blogs/stewarthomesociety.org/blog

I tried to locate blogs that groove me via Technorati using a variety of search methods, because I wanted to know how easy we are to find there – but about the only thing that pulled most of you up was entering your url into their search engine. If I have to do that to find blogs I already know about and like, it seems very unlikely I’ll just stumble across something interesting using Technorati. If anyone has any tips about using this site please add them in the comments. Since so many of us have joined this site, I hope it has some useful function! If I haven’t found you on Technorati, then if you favourite and/or review me, this will alert me to your presence on this site. Let’s be as nepotistic as the scum at the top of the Technorati pile – after all, we have better blogs than they do!

And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!