Yes, those crazy non-erotic soft porn DVDs are invading UK pound shops once again, which led Justin to comment on my Jenna Jameson blog of a few days ago: “Have you noticed that Poundland actually sell porn DVDs?” Well, I blogged about the porno on offer in pound shops back in the days when I was posting on MySpace. Poundland still seem to be concentrating on the more ‘tasteful’ Penthouse and Electric Blue type stuff. Pound shops stuffed with trash DVDs, let alone euro or dollar shops selling anything at all, are in short supply in inner London; but the same shirt turns up at the same prices on market stalls in Whitecross Street and elsewhere (okay, I lied, a lot of these DVDs go for 50p when they turn up down Whitecross Street – never trust a Londoner!). Two years ago, I was more impressed with what was on offer in Poundgate in Glasgow than Poundland. However, when I gave a talk at the Streetlevel Gallery a few weeks ago, very close to where Poundgate used to be, I noticed the shop had gone. Anyway, here’s what I had to say about their porno DVDs a couple of years back:
“Poundgate was doing titles like Lust In The Grass (although personally I’d prefer Lust In The Dust as the ‘hard’ sell end of a tiresome video of a Czech chick getting ‘filthy’ – double entendre – in her garden), Bondage Party (you can see a picture of that here) and Best of Sammy Marshall (image of that here). I’d never heard of Sammy Marshall but a web search led me directly to her site (this was nearly two years ago, the site is no longer up): ‘Sammy Marshall. A model for around 20 years now, I’ve been published in all the top shelf magazines, page 3, calendars etc, and have also been in various movies. I also do lap dancing and strip shows all over the country…’ The Internet Movie Data Base provides the following filmography for Ms Marshall: Women That Wank: Volume 1 (2004), British Bitches in Leather (2001), Best of Single Sensations 1 (2001), Girls in Uniform 1 (2001), Dodger DVD 2 (2001), Dodger DVD 25 (2001), Golden Shower Girls 1 (2001), The Bitch: Best of Sammy Marshall (2000), Lesbian Amateur (1998), Mistress Leather (1997), Fetish Special 4 (1996).”
Having checked, I see that no new titles have been added to her IMDB filmography, so I guess Sammy Marshall’s glamour career ain’t going so well. You now need to add at least a year to the estimated age I gave Sammy in what I went on to say, but it looks like I judged things about right.
“At 34 Sammy Marshall has obviously reached a career peak as far as her work as a glamour model goes, but you can still book her: ‘My rates start from £40 per hour. I tailor every job to your specific requirements and my rates change accordingly. Please contact me to discuss your needs and we can agree a price. Minimum booking time is 2 hours, unless petrol money paid on top. If you want me for more than two hours then we can come to a special discount arrangement on price. All day bookings are £250. If you require a model release, then that’s an extra £25 on top. I will work all over the country but may ask for petrol money if it’s a long way. i.e. Newcastle. I will not do any anal, water-sports, animals or anything illegal. If you would like any more information on my work please contact me. Email sammy@sammymarshall.co.uk… Facing the future and the glamour age barrier that she’s already hit, Ms Marshall is now acting as an agent for other dancers and models. Check her r18models site…”
The r18models site is still up, albeit with slightly fewer models than last time I looked. And for me it makes the world of glamour modelling look distinctly unattractive. In fact, neither it nor one pound porno DVDs are at all tempting… I still prefer horror and crime as movie genres to bored housewives getting it on with candle sticks and water hoses in their suburban homes and gardens…. And if you want to book Sammy Marshall for a stag night or whatever, she now appears to be managed by the Stand and Deliver Booking Agency, who specialise in supplying comedians! You gotta laugh!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthoesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!
Comments
Comment by Tony Slug on 2009-10-12 11:33:58 +0000
Doesn’t sound very jizzworthy to me but I might have to Czech it out.
Lame pun intended.
Comment by Zen Master K on 2009-10-12 12:48:52 +0000
I know you were heartbroken when Sammy chucked you a few years back, but do you have to blog about her as well as cry over her into your Big Blogger Flat breakfast bowl every morning? I’m kinda sick of hearing about Sammy, but like Tony I wanna check out that Czech chick…
Comment by The Real Tessie on 2009-10-12 13:55:56 +0000
Watch it buster or you’ll give me emgrams!
Comment by Mr Mixx on 2009-10-12 14:13:57 +0000
hey booty and cop what you like fellas!
Comment by Justin on 2009-10-12 17:55:24 +0000
Thanks for the info. Having checked out some of the artistes available at the Stand and Deliver Booking Agency, I must confess at being slightly concerned by the claim that ace hypnotist Adam Night can make ‘mild mannered friends become Madonna or Garry Glitter’ http://www.standdeliver1.co.uk/h_AdamNight.php
Comment by Justin on 2009-10-12 17:59:16 +0000
And I don’t trust the look or indeed haircut of Goerge Lord either!
http://www.standdeliver1.co.uk/h_GorrgeLord.php
Comment by Silent George on 2009-10-12 21:42:18 +0000
oh I can’t choose between Laura Hawkins, who looks sweet to me, and King Shaft. who do you think I should book, or should I book both for my private party?
Comment by Bettye Lavette on 2009-10-12 22:46:02 +0000
Check it out baby, see just what condition I’m in!
Comment by Chuck Norris on 2009-10-12 23:25:03 +0000
Christian porn queens and prostitutes never smoke rock, and nor do I, which means we have something in common. Personally I do not believe in fornication outside of marriage, unless of course God has given you the horn by intelligent design; but you’d better watch out boy if it is the Devil that has brought on your hots. I say live clean and its okay to look at porn but not to masturbate to it.
Comment by Christopher Nosnibor on 2009-10-13 12:57:59 +0000
Gimme baked bean porn any day!
Comment by Justin on 2009-10-13 18:17:31 +0000
A tough one to call George. How about King Shaft fronting the G.I. Jive Swing Band with half-time cabaret entertainment from Laura Hawkins singing and calling out the raffle numbers at your party?
Comment by Silent George on 2009-10-13 20:14:48 +0000
Yeah, that’s the answer, but maybe I’ll book Sammy Marshall to make up the numbers too!
Comment by This Is Not Sammy Marshall on 2009-10-13 21:38:31 +0000
I’d like to do a private show for Chuck Norris, he’s a very strong man!
Comment by Fred The Freek on 2009-10-13 23:07:28 +0000
I wouldn’t mind getting a freak show on with a ‘famous glamour model’.
Comment by Michael Roth on 2009-10-18 17:10:55 +0000
Interesting, my hourly rate starts at £40/hour as well. But I am very flexible on that.