- Bleeding to death.
- Starting a fight.
- Hitting on a nurse.
- Sleeping (or at least remaining unconscious).
- Feeling the pain.
- Acting bored shitless.
- Agitated mobile phone conversations.
- Slumping in chairs.
- Throwing up.
- Falling down.
- Sobering up.
Based on years of observation and the fact there are too many drunks in this world. Accident and emergency does not make for an entertaining Friday or Saturday night out, but you’d be surprised how many clubbers end up there!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!
Comments
Comment by Lucy Johnson on 2012-11-12 20:53:19 +0000
Chuckletastic!
Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-11-12 22:10:10 +0000
And no wonder central London hospitals anyway have separate waiting sections for kids and and adults…. The children’s waiting sections being worse of course because they psychic drive the patients with tape loops of Thomas The Tank Engine!
Comment by Christopher Nosnibor on 2012-11-13 00:18:44 +0000
…and yet I’d still rather spend a night sitting around in A&E than in most clubs….
Comment by Steve Finbow on 2012-11-13 00:45:19 +0000
Done all of those… I’m thinking of writing a Rough Guide to the world’s hospitals…
Comment by Jonny Cowee on 2012-11-13 01:01:09 +0000
The last time I was in A&E there was a well-dressed young couple sat with a full picnic in M&S bags, complete with proper cutlery, very clearly there purely for an evening of people-watching
Comment by Michael Roth on 2012-11-13 05:48:09 +0000
This sounds like a trendy night club!
Comment by The Man in the Iron Mask on 2012-11-13 11:37:19 +0000
Re Roth’s ‘trendy night club’: I was at Benbow’s last Thursday and there’s now a side-bar where you can take lessons in self-catheterisation. It beats queuing up for the gents especially if like me you suffer from parureis – the inability to pee in front of other men (I have no problem in front of women). I’ve never been able to verify it but I think the club is named after Dr Benbow in THE NAKED LUNCH.
Comment by Runkbulle on 2012-11-13 11:55:11 +0000
YOU DISGUSTING JEW CUNT FAG GO DIE
Comment by Lucy Johnson on 2012-11-13 12:22:09 +0000
How rude.
Comment by The Man in the Iron Mask on 2012-11-13 12:41:21 +0000
O Runkbulle chuck, how could I have known that when your mother was screaming with pleasure and accomodating my gay old circumised sceptre that you would be the end result…
Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-11-13 15:24:52 +0000
Racists, fascists, sexist morons and homophobes don’t like me – so obviously I’m doing at least some things right! But I think Runkbulle would be more improved by sudden death than me. Especially as anyone who’d resort to such childish abuse is already pretty much dead and as far as they are still ‘living’ are only acting out a poor charade of a worthwhile life.
Comment by Don Mac on 2012-11-13 16:33:13 +0000
you forgot 3b: hitting a nurse. very popular here in the ‘weeg…
Comment by Lucy Johnson on 2012-11-13 16:53:44 +0000
Well I don’t like the way they are besmirching this comment stream. Be gone!
Comment by Simon Wade on 2012-11-13 17:45:42 +0000
Missing out on that guess how that happenned game we all play ?
Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-11-13 23:57:52 +0000
Great if you all keep it up I can do this blog again with a different list of 10!
@ Lucy Johnson – I agree with you but as it was commented on by others before I saw it, is directed against me and isn’t link spam, I decided to leave it. I may well delete drivel of this type if it turns up in the comments in the future.
Comment by Ana Sanchez on 2012-11-14 01:41:26 +0000
I’ve never seen anyone attempt trepanation while waiting at accident and emergency but maybe you could start a new trend!
Comment by The Man in the Iron Mask on 2012-11-14 11:49:15 +0000
During trepanation you could have some appropriate music therapy – Luke Haines’ THE GREAT BRAIN ROBBERY.
Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-11-14 16:06:05 +0000
I can dig it!
Comment by Violet Hayes on 2012-11-14 22:54:32 +0000
Point 8. Throwing up? Didn’t you mean more specific and spectacular projectile vomiting!
Comment by Frank Discussion on 2012-11-15 01:22:50 +0000
Personally I like to spit blood when I’m at A&E.