I May Be JFK’s Illegitimate Son!

Okay, time to get back on track with these weird blogging feedback and time loops. There are lots of blogging list formulas. One I’ve noticed over the years is simply to divulge 6 weird things about yourself, and another is six weird true things mixed with six lies. So in the spirit of mix and match here are my twelve unlikely truths and true lies.

1. It is possible to put together a credible argument that John F. Kennedy was my father (this involves my mother belonging to the set of British good time girls centred on Christine Keeler that Kennedy couldn’t keep away from, JFK visiting the UK nine months before I was born, the fact that there is no father named on my birth certificate etc – and actually there are odd photos in which JFK and I look pretty alike, although I do hope this cold warrior wasn’t my father since I don’t exactly dig shirt (misprint) like the Cuban Missile Crisis etc.)

2.  I wrote a novel (Tainted Love) which implied JFK was my father.

3. JFK may have been my father.

4. I think The Warren Commission sucked but don’t have any particular pet theory about JFK’s assassination. Indeed I find the phenomena of JFK conspiracy theories far more interesting than the solutions they propose, and don’t necessarily think JFK’s death is something that will ever be resolved.

5. I know people who were Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament or Committee of 100 activists in the UK in the early sixties who while not necessarily in favour of assassination as a political tool, were nonetheless quite pleased to hear of JFK’s death because they viewed him as being a threat to world peace and stability. So the whole idea of worldwide (or at least NATO wide) solidarity and shock over JFK’s death is a massive and untrue rewriting of history. I would be interested to hear of people having similar positions at the time in the US, there were certainly plenty who were not saddened by JFK’s death in Europe in 1963. And BTW: I’m not too keen on Princess Diana or Harold Wilson either… we always knew the Labour Party and the monarchy was our enemy.

6. One of my blogger friends Locked has much more definite views on the JFK assassination than I do (check out his blog, it’s on MySpace).

7. It is possible to put together a credible argument that John F. Kennedy was my father (this involves my mother belonging to the set of British good time girls centred on Christine Keeler that Kennedy couldn’t keep away from, JFK visiting the UK nine months before I was born, the fact that there is no father named on my birth certificate etc – and actually there are odd photos in which JFK and I look pretty alike, although I do hope this cold warrior wasn’t my father since I don’t exactly dig shirt (misprint) like the Cuban Missile Crisis etc.)

8.  I wrote a novel (Tainted Love) which implied JFK was my father.

9. JFK may have been my father.

10. I think The Warren Commission sucked but don’t have any particular pet theory about JFK’s assassination. Indeed I find the phenomena of JFK conspiracy theories far more interesting than the solutions they propose, and don’t necessarily think JFK’s death is something that will ever be resolved.

11. I know people who were Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament or Committee of 100 activists in the UK in the early sixties who while not necessarily in favour of assassination as a political tool, were nonetheless quite pleased to hear of JFK’s death because they viewed him as being a threat to world peace and stability. So the whole idea of worldwide (or at least NATO wide) solidarity and shock over JFK’s death is a massive and untrue rewriting of history. I would be interested to hear of people having similar positions at the time in the US, there were certainly plenty who were not saddened by JFK’s death in Europe in 1963. And BTW: I’m not too keen on Princess Diana or Harold Wilson either… we always knew the Labour Party and the monarchy was our enemy.

12. One of my blogger friends Locked has much more definite views on the JFK assassination than I do (check out his blog, it’s on MySpace).

NB. The use of repetition is quite self-conscious and is both for aesthetic effect and to create yet more truly postmodern feedback loops. Or so nice I said it twice! Karate Boogaloo now baby!

And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – http://www.stewarthomesociety.org/ – you know it makes (no) sense!

About mistertrippy

Stewart Home was born in south London in 1962. His mother Julia Callan-Thompson was a showgirl and club hostess. He has never held down a regular job for more than a few months at a time. On those rare occasions when he's been forced to work, Home has taken employment as a factory labourer, agricultural labourer, shop assistant, office clerk and art class model. Deciding he didn't like working in factories as a teenager, Home pursued cultural and political interests, writing many books and participating in even more gallery exhibitions.
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22 thoughts on “I May Be JFK’s Illegitimate Son!

  1. JKF says:

    I am a zombie cold warrior and I’m gonna eat your brains!

  2. Che Guevara says:

    I’m a Bolshevik zombie and I murder the dead coz I only feed off living labor……

  3. fjk says:

    ask not wot your country can do 4 u or u can do 4 your country but wot we can do to overcome the notion of the nation and be able to live

  4. Stephen Ward says:

    I was set up and so was Profumo, we were fall guys for JFK, the Americans didn’t want it publicly known that their president had been knobbing Mariella Novotny (who later drowned in a bowl of jelly while assisting a police corruption inquiry)… after all Mariella was the niece of the head of the Czech state… a cold war enemy!

  5. Michael K says:

    I have the frames that prove it. I can’t tell you anything about what’s in them except that, with these seven frames restored to the 1.04 second clip of your mom at the Technocolour Dreamscape (erm…or something) in 1968 (erm…I think), you could walk up to The White House with me on Jan 20th and demand, like me (because I’m Obama’s great great great grand-relative), a room with a view, fax machine and coffee-maker!!

  6. Michael K says:

    Did I mention it’s got to be in CA$H? And the CA$H needs to be in CA$H!!

  7. michael Roth says:

    It’s true! It’s all true! I was there.

  8. You gotta put the proof before the public and that’ll put those big men back in the dock of history!

  9. I must protest against your vile insinuation that I am the father of that notorious avant-garde pornographer Stewart Home. Why, if he were my son, I would have thrashed some sense into him. You can’t trust a Kennedy!

  10. mistertrippy says:

    Oh look, there’s JFK up at the top! Hi pop!

  11. The real John F. Kennedy is dead and is unable to leave blog comments at the moment….

  12. Michael Roth says:

    Actually, I read somewhere on the Internet that JFK was revived using alien technology. With his memory wiped clean, he went on to work as a minor character actor in a variety of TV shows like Land of the Lost, The Night Stalker, and Petticoat Junction.

  13. Well this kid is certainly no white Russian! Glad it isn’t my son!

  14. mistertrippy says:

    Vodka and milk? Despite my liking for tunes like “Milk & Alcohol” by Dr Feelgood, you can stuff your white Russian, I still prefer Springbank!

  15. No Sleep Till Canvey Island!

  16. mistertrippy says:

    Little did she know that I know that she knows… etc. Personally I preferred Television Generation although it wasn’t a hit… Nice plug for your book Will… And like wow I even saw you beating the skins with the Kursal Flyers back in 1977, and The Cortinas were supporting!

  17. The Kursal Flyers were the dope shit

  18. mistertrippy says:

    Oh they were great, and all those lyrics were like so self-referential and intertextual it was like postmodernism without the grief… yeah, forget Lyotard and get down with the Kursal Flyers!

  19. A lot of prose writers, a lot of poets, a lot of songwriters, refer back to something. Generally it’s all you’ve got, unless you’re brilliant and can write totally in the now. You know, you’re always looking at last year, or 10 years ago, or your school days, or your teenage years, your formative years. Because that’s exactly what they are, they’re your formative years.

  20. mistertrippy says:

    Oh but time is not real, and I refer back to myself… it’s so postmodern!

  21. And like so far out it’s a groove sensation!!