Laura Hird rhymes with merde!

Let’s jump straight into it, coz once someone has learnt how to read my novels, the next step is to learn how to like them! The following is a citation from a ‘review’ of my novel Down & Out In Shoreditch & Hoxton by Marc Goldin. The review begins on a sympathetic and interested note, it is not entirely negative but I prefer to focus on that. The review is hosted on the Laura Hird site:
“After the Ripper ruminations, it was decided that the narrator and colleagues would embark on a snuff film and selected a john named Alan Abel as candidate. The simple premise of this film was that Abel would simply be fucked to death. There followed page after page of Abel being mounted by a series of various and sundry women, all delightfully described in short detail.
“Here is where I had a problem, however, and found myself taking issue with Home’s literary devices – specifically he recycles three or four of the descriptions word for word, just changing the woman’s name. This occurs on pages 106 / 124 (Mary Thatcher / Mary White), 110 / 124 (Polly / Samantha), 113 / 125 (Sarah / Lilith), and three times on pages 104 / 111 / 126 (Angela / Koonika / Kait).
“There may have been additional instances of this but even in my more obsessive moments, this is all I had the patience to track. The snuff film gangbang sequence went on far too long as it was, but to further just copy the descriptions word for word was too much, and I felt that Stewart Home should be severely scolded for this cheap copy/paste deal, although I suspect that he would appreciate it on some level. This had the unintended (or maybe intended?) effect of putting me in a foul mood and I struggled mightily to retain some sort of literary objectivity.”
But isn’t that the whole point, literature isn’t about objectivity, it’s about bourgeois subjectivity and that’s exactly why I want to “smash” it. According to Henri Bergson, repetition is the basis of all humour, so the more you repeat something the funnier it gets. Not to mention the fact that I’m dealing with the way commodified sex dehumanises people, plus I want to remind readers that all writing is fabricated, not real. And hey, have you ever tried reading like de Sade? What I did clearly worked because it annoyed this ‘reviewer’. And Goldin does not even address most of the fictional devices used in this book, such as the fact that every paragraph is exactly 100 words long. I’m not sure why, but I’ll refrain from the temptation of cutting and pasting this blog, so that you get what you’ve just read again and again and again… but hey kids, if you want you can do that at home! Post-literary communism is a groove sensation!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – – you know it makes (no) sense!


Comment by The Real Anti-Plotinus on 2009-01-12 13:02:48 +0000

I trust you’re gonna smash philosophy at the same time as literature….
As you know, all social life is essentially practical. All mysteries which lead theory to mysticism find their rational solution in human practice and in the comprehension of this practice.
The highest point reached by contemplative materialism, that is, materialism which does not comprehend sensuousness as practical activity, is contemplation of single individuals and of civil society.
The standpoint of the old materialism is civil society; the standpoint of the new is human society, or social humanity. Philosophers have only interpreted the world, the point is to change it.

Comment by Observe on 2009-01-12 15:59:27 +0000

Mr Home, you often laugh at mysticism, but I sense a faScination for the subject within some of your dismissals. It’s inescapable — it’s barely hidden , barely concealed within your dialectic and reasonings. Your dismissal conceals — and simultaneously reveals — your yearning for mystic union. Your anti Plotinus is , in reality, your Pro Plotinus.
It’s a one-ness groove thang! Let’s bring down capitalism once and for all while we are at it. My hatred for capitalism is absolute, and escapes the mystic union of any dialectical contradicition and resolution — I defy Hegel in the case of Capitalism. The dead seed of capitalism cannot, ever, reveal the living flower of love.
Oh fuck it, where’s my Hank Ballard album? “From the Love Side”, the JB’S

Comment by marmitelover on 2009-01-12 16:30:01 +0000

Actually it doesn’t rhyme. Not if you have a good French accent.

Comment by Ant-Eater on 2009-01-12 16:49:14 +0000

repetitio est mater studiorum. Keep on repeating, Trippy.

Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-01-12 17:57:12 +0000

Keep repeating… it’s only a blog, it’s only a blog, it’s only a blog….
Oh and I definitely don’t have a good French accent… but the alternative was ‘turd’ which was clearly ruder…. coz you could be saying ‘shit’ to the review or the criticism or whatever…. but if it was ‘turd’ then I think it would have to be taken as applying to Laura… and actually I wanted more ambiguity than that, not only because it is more ‘post-modern’ but also because I haven’t really got a big problem with Ms Hird….
And as for mysticism, oh it’s been said very well before: Religious distress is at the same time the expression of real distress and the protest against real distress. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, just as it is the spirit of a spiritless situation. It is the opium of the people. The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is required for their real happiness. The demand to give up the illusion about its condition is the demand to give up a condition which needs illusions.

Comment by Laura on 2009-01-12 18:12:34 +0000

tyrde? Excuse-moi?

Comment by A More ‘Real’ Fake Laura Hird on 2009-01-12 19:45:02 +0000

Oh come on surely you lot know me better than that! Would I come on here and not use the website function to leave a link to my site from my name? After all the trouble I went to in setting up those click thru payments from Amazon? Why do you think I ran a review of Homie? Look at all those images of his books on the right, and they all link to pages on which Amazon sells them. The message above is from moi? Non!

Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-01-12 19:49:16 +0000

Come in Mister K, your time is up!

Comment by marmitelover on 2009-01-12 20:20:04 +0000

When are you joining twitter Mr Dippy Trippy? And Mister K?
You’d both just love it… it’s the future for…ooh 2009 at least. You are both too late to be early adopters but you can be slightly late adopters…

Comment by Anna K on 2009-01-12 20:37:06 +0000

its a good point above about filosofee (100 in the dewey decimal system) and litrachore (800) – they are close to the oppsoing poles of the bourgeois semantic universe. anyway the bougies response is perfect evidence of the success of your antisystemic techneex comrade. communist metagraphy brings blisters to the brains of the bourgeois critixxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Comment by Ant-Eater on 2009-01-12 20:37:44 +0000

really, Trippy – Twitter must be the only social network you haven’t joined yet

Comment by Kanna A on 2009-01-12 20:38:46 +0000


Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-01-12 21:09:36 +0000

Oh I’m so grooved out I couldn’t join another social network for at least the next 5 minutes….

Comment by Sceptic on 2009-01-12 21:24:55 +0000

it’s time you started your own SN. Something like “Homies” or “CyberTrippers”.

Comment by Wynder K. Frog on 2009-01-12 22:56:25 +0000

Wynder K. Frog is away and unable to leave blog comments at the moment.

Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-01-12 23:10:41 +0000

Oh look, it’s the CyberTrippin’ Homie Wynder K Frog…. “Out Of The Frying Pan”…. don’t you just love that Hammond!

Comment by marmitelover on 2009-01-12 23:31:23 +0000

Wynder K.Frog.
Never heard of him and he has a wikipedia entry. Lol. Right. I want one.

Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-01-13 00:13:14 +0000

Oh check Wynder out, he’s a groove sensation… If you’re a stoner into Jimmy Smith, then you’ll just love Wynder K. Frog!

Comment by Observe on 2009-01-13 02:08:39 +0000

Yes, I agree with you totally regarding religion Mr. Home — but surely mysticism doesn’t need to be tied to formal religion at all, and mysticism certainly doesn’t need to be connected to “alternative” or “informal” religions such as paganism etc as some believe.
A gardener can be and probably often is, a mystic. Maybe a lone late night train driver, alone in his cabin night after night is a mystic. Maybe a ship’s captain navigating some frail vessel through a night storm is a mystic.

Comment by xasfasdf on 2009-01-13 06:14:48 +0000

and gardening train driving and ship captaincy must all be abolished as separate from everyday life the myst wil clear the myth will fly the social network must be beautifully ruined all is life and all is death

Comment by shrieking wizard howling toad on 2009-01-13 08:25:21 +0000

xasfasdf speaks the truth –listen to him,oh Observe.
Right,off to my cave now — must rush!

Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-01-13 10:58:55 +0000

“Into the Mystic” is a song written by Van Morrison and featured on his 1970 album Moondance. The lyrics are about a spiritual quest. “Bass thrums like a boat in motion, and the song comes back to water as a means of magical transformation.” At the very end Van sings: ‘too late to stop now’, suggesting that the song also describes an act of love.
Morrison remarked on the song: “Originally I wrote it as “Into the Misty”. But later I thought that it had something of an ethereal feeling to it so I called it “Into the Mystic”. That song is kind of funny because when it came time to send the lyrics in WB Music, I couldn’t figure out what to send them. Because really the song has two sets of lyrics. For example, there’s “I was born before the wind” and “I was borne before the wind”, and also “Also younger than the son, Ere the bonny boat was one” and “All so younger than the son, Ere the bonny boat was won”…I guess the song is just about being part of the universe.”
The song has soothing, calm, medium-paced tempo. It is among the most popular songs doctors listen to while operating, according to a survey made by the BBC.

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