Altermodernism cancelled due to wrong type of snow….

I wasn’t planning on going to the 2009 Tate Triennial opening last night, but in my efforts to get Mister Trippy lovers all the latest London art world gossip, I had planned to attend the ‘unofficial afterparty’ organised by Tate curator and all round good guy Cedar Lewisohn. This was supposed to take place at The Double Club, 7 Torrens Street in Islington, but was cancelled due to snow. I’m sure Triennial curator Nicolas Bourriaud rolled up a hundred dollar bill and hoovered up a good quantity of snow before deciding it was too watery to give anyone a buzz… For those of you from outside the UK, several inches of snow fell in London yesterday so there were no buses, few subway trains and many roads were closed; it is unusual for it to snow here so the equipment for dealing with this kind of ‘severe’ weather just isn’t in place. But there you have it, altermodernism – Bourriaud’s attempt to buttress alienated (anti)-social relations and prevent our overflowing of all capitalist canalisation – was cancelled. So no gossip but I did get to stay in and watch Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! AKA Zombies Vs. Strippers yet again!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – – you know it makes (no) sense!


Comment by The Digital Dave Beech on 2009-02-03 12:02:21 +0000

Bourriaud does not simply rehash the familiar gestures of postmodernist theory; any celebration of eclecticism, pluralism and pastiche today would be worthless. Nonetheless, Bourriaud’s postmodernist enthusiasms come through time and again: ‘the new is no longer a criterion’, ‘unlike an object that is closed in on itself by the intervention of style and a signature, present-day art shows that form only exists in the encounter’, ‘present-day art is roundly taking on and taking up the legacy of 20th century avant-gardes, while at the same time challenging their dogmatism and their teleological doctrines’. His definition of the artist as a ‘semionaut’ is clearly indebted to postmodernist conceptions of signifying practices. Moreover this reworking of Postmodernism within relational aesthetics does not let up when Bourriaud addresses the question of critical art: ‘Any stance that is ‘directly’ critical of society is futile,’ he writes. ARSE!

Comment by Belle de Jour on 2009-02-03 12:18:36 +0000

Oh I like upmarket male curators with a natty taste in knitwear and a few thousand quid a day to spend on the right girl…Al this art jargon is a bore, I don’t care about that, coz my feminine intuition tells me Nicolas Bourriaud could satisfy me!

Comment by Sunny & The Sunglows on 2009-02-03 12:22:46 +0000

Watch out kids! I have it on good authority that Belle is a geezer wearing make-up, and not some gorgeous Thai transsexual but the bloke behind this blog…

Comment by The Nicolas Bourriaud Bot on 2009-02-03 12:37:19 +0000

I’ve been ingesting this rarely heard of weight loss pill in my diet and I thought I would show everyone my results. I heard about this product through a co-worker and I ended up ordering a trial and started seeing results instantly. I could not believe I had actually shed 25 pounds in 2.5 months simply by taking this supplement. If you are interested they offer a free trial, check it out by clicking your fingers!

Comment by The Vegetarian Nicholas Serota on 2009-02-03 13:15:08 +0000

But Nicolas is so English for a Frenchman, and I rather like the fact that his English is so heavily accented that it is incomprehensible. Indeed we even share the same first name give or take an ‘h’, erm, that might even mean we are the same person…. And as for the theories he expresses in his books like Relational Aesthetics, well I’d buy that for a dollar!

Comment by Sigue Sigue Sputnik on 2009-02-03 13:39:06 +0000

Any word with ‘modern’ in it, is like so Festival of Britain. In a few years, they might catch up to ‘cyber’. And by the way Billy Idol’s ‘Cyberpunk’ album is quite a groove!

Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-02-03 14:43:07 +0000

And this is also true for songs, which is why 70s bands like The Jam and The Boomtown Rats were rubbish, coz they did songs with titles like “This Is The Modern World” and “She’s So Modern”…..

Comment by Sigue Sigue Sputnik on 2009-02-03 14:57:11 +0000

Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you’ve already said that!

Comment by John Russell, Simon Bedwell, Milly Thompson AKA BANK on 2009-02-03 15:19:57 +0000

IMPORTANT PS: You’re getting this comment in connection with new directions issued by U.S. Treasury Department. The directions concern U.S. Federal Wire online payments.
On January 26, 2009 a large-scaled phishing attack started and this offensive is ongoing. Many banks and credit unions are affected by this scam and quantity of illegal wire transfers has reached a dangerously high level.
U.S. Treasury Department, Federal Reserve and Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) have undertaken a complex of actions to counter this fraud. Therefore we are here to inform you that there are restrictions on all Federal Wire transfers between February 6 and February 13.

Comment by K Mail on 2009-02-03 15:39:16 +0000

CLONGING is the process of hitting a metallic object with a wooden spoon. It is known for making a CLONG sound. Therefore lies evidence clonging was around when pots and wooden spoons.
So dude, lets TOTALLY go to the kitchen and clong some pots!

Comment by Sigue Sigue Sputnik on 2009-02-03 15:43:55 +0000

Isnt that clanging? I’m waiting for a definition of clonging before I commit valuable Sputnik resources to it

Comment by Alberto Giacometti on 2009-02-03 16:07:26 +0000

The idea of the altermodern is stupid and boring, and it relates to no ‘real’ or even ‘virtual’ movement in the arts… Bourriaud can go suck on a frozen Linda McCartney vegetarian sausage….

Comment by Terry Thomas on 2009-02-03 16:19:38 +0000

You’re an absolute shower!

Comment by The Australian Alexander McQueen on 2009-02-03 16:49:46 +0000

Bourriaud has about as much style as a poodle, he is over-domesticated and is in serious need of a fashion make-over, his hair is awful and as for the shitty knitwear he favours, the less said about that the better!

Comment by Zombie Golf Jumper on 2009-02-03 17:01:11 +0000

Oh Nikki Bourriaud will be for the high jump if he doesn’t improve the way he gears up!

Comment by Kate Muir on 2009-02-03 17:11:36 +0000

Sadly, I am a late-night takeaway falafel sandwich with spicy sauce, a clapped-out people carrier and a bottle of cheap’n’cheerful Pinot Grigio, so I understand absolutely zilch about contemporary art and literature. But I know what I like and mostly it is the programmes you see on day time TV – and definitely not what you find in the Tate or men in black T-shirts performing ventriloquism with puppets at poetry clubs!

Comment by Adam Ant on 2009-02-03 17:28:02 +0000

If fashion ends in passion then Nicolas Bourriaud has a long way to go before he is the best dressed man in town…..

Comment by Norville Rogers on 2009-02-03 18:12:43 +0000


Comment by Msmarmitelover on 2009-02-03 23:44:21 +0000

But Mr. Trippy! You were at school with The Jam!
I liked them. I suppose they kept using the word modern to show that they were mods.I think they used it in an altermodern way.

Comment by Msmarmitelover on 2009-02-03 23:45:40 +0000

Someone on twitter had a dream about me and a snowman.

Comment by Velma Dinkley on 2009-02-04 00:00:41 +0000


Comment by Díre McCain on 2009-02-04 05:37:38 +0000

¿Dónde están las klones?

Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-02-04 11:58:36 +0000

Oh we had such fun cloning around! Roooby Roooby Doo!

Comment by Díre McCain on 2009-02-04 14:25:20 +0000

Beep beep!

Comment by Christopher Nosnibor on 2009-02-04 21:13:55 +0000

Oh I just hate it when it snows underground! My worry is that when it thaws, the meltwater will cool the earth’s core… and THEN what? The news channels will go into overdrive about the terrible conditions that have brought all of humanity to a standstill and very possibly mark the end of civilisation as we know it! Oh no, wait, they did that when the first half inch of snow settled.
Yes, I’m a little late to this blog. I was snowed in another room and couldn’t get to my PC.
(That’s personal computer, not police constable)

Comment by Msmarmitelover on 2009-02-04 23:05:35 +0000


Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-02-05 01:44:54 +0000

Toot toot!

Comment by Confused of Cherry Valley Constituency on 2009-02-06 12:23:01 +0000

I’ve been in touch with my MP (that’s Member of Parliament not Menstruating Pam) and stated by objection to the use of terms like ‘Jinkies’ on this blog-response cavalcade. I’ve also asked The Reverend Ian Paisley Junior to take a look at imposing a tax on sales of Linda McCartney vegetarian sausages to try to offset the decine in sales of the Cookstown sizzle favoured by George Best. And with that, I’m off to the George Best Happy Hour at Wetherspoons

Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-02-06 20:00:56 +0000

Roooby Dooooo!

Comment by The Mayor of Oxford on 2009-02-06 20:14:18 +0000

Best keep that altermodernity in the big metropoli where it belongs. We certainly don’t need it here in the county. Who knows, it might transform our dreaming spires into tripped out minarets transmitting over long distances. And heaven forbid that a Frenchman should dictate our intellectual or sartorial fashions. Fancy an academic gown being knitted! Hell will freeze over first. And indeed it might. Must go and get ready to open another primary school. It’s only been closed for the last two days due to the snow so actually it’s a re-opening but these days we open what we can.

Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-02-07 12:16:27 +0000

Oh maybe you can look forward to opening a can of worms next… As for Frenchmen, nothing wrong with them but this is the bourgeois type and his ideas are superannuated… much better a cross between Jacques Camatte, Alain Resnais and the groovers from Metal Urbain….. and give met hipsters dressed in rags rather than squares who’ve donned shitty designer knitwear… Bourriaud is about as with it as Prince Charles, and if you cut off their heads it wouldn’t kill ’em coz their brains are in their arses…

Comment by shrieking toad howling wizard on 2009-03-11 04:46:06 +0000

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