10 Reasons Not To Read My Books

  1. They don’t cater to bourgeoisie sensibilities.
  2. They’ll make what you do read look like a shower of shit (assuming you’re into middle-brow ‘literature’ by the likes of Julian Barnes and Philip Roth).
  3. They’re an all out attack on serious culture.
  4. They challenge the discredited beliefs of every insecure reactionary knobhead who ever sloped across this planet.
  5. They transgress all genre boundaries and as a consequence upset traditionalists.
  6. They’re not in the least bit funny if you haven’t got a sense of humour.
  7. They’re an absolute groove sensation, so they don’t appeal to squares.
  8. They wholeheartedly reject every discredited Victorian idea about ‘characterisation’
  9. They’re chock full of sex, violence and sadism.
  10. They’re sick psychodramas without any redeeming literary features whatsoever.
    Just in case none of the above points apply to you, here’s a link to the Book Works site where you can purchase a copy of my most recent experimental novel Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie.
    And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!


Comment by a on 2011-10-06 16:32:04 +0000

10 Reasons I Hate Stewart Home.

  1. I don’t like his books.
  2. I don’t like his attitude.
  3. I don’t like his egotism.
  4. I don’t like his humour.
  5. I don’t like the way he looks.
  6. I don’t like his clothes.
  7. I don’t like his art.
  8. I don’t his website.
  9. He once called me stupid.
  10. He keeps tricking me into publicizing his work by making me attack him.

Comment by I Was Philip Roth’s Double on 2011-10-06 17:07:13 +0000

I’ve read all your books. Is there something wrong with me?

Comment by The Cult Of My Enormous Love Pole on 2011-10-06 17:19:21 +0000

Stewart Home’s ego is nearly as big as my prick!

Comment by The Man In The Papier-Mache Mask on 2011-10-06 17:35:56 +0000

Numbers 4 and 7 are particularly hep-cat swinging, daddio!

Comment by Kanga The Killa! on 2011-10-06 17:43:57 +0000

They’re always dangerously unavailable in Australia at the moment. Can you contact some local suppliers, boy-o?

Comment by mistertrippy on 2011-10-06 18:11:28 +0000

The Cult Of My Enormous Love Pole is lying… my ego is infinite, you can’t get bigger than that… my ego will get my books to Australia! It will make me a linguist and teach me Greek in two hours!

Comment by The Gimp on 2011-10-06 20:25:53 +0000

You’ve really lost the plot this time… but then, plot’s overrated, as is characterisation and literary merit. Ok, I’m in!

Comment by mistertrippy on 2011-10-06 20:55:25 +0000

If only all those ‘literary’ novelists could lose the plot! If they did then there’d be an outside chance one of them might come up with a novel worth reading…..

Comment by Jules Barnacle on 2011-10-06 21:30:03 +0000

Only 10 reasons! I can think of a lot more! Not being able to read English might be a good place to start, then we could move on to being dead…..

Comment by b on 2011-10-06 22:53:47 +0000

What about the fact that Stewart Home is a really bad name for a writer? Never trust a scribbler whose surname is widely used in ordinary speech to mean something other than the person who bears it.

Comment by Silvia Pintos on 2011-10-06 23:15:41 +0000

I also like number 4 very much… Number 9 and the best for me is number 10! Stewart Home is strictly for freaks!

Comment by mistertrippy on 2011-10-07 00:32:35 +0000

You’re a 10 all the way Silvia!

Comment by Michael Roth on 2011-10-07 05:17:18 +0000

I really don’t need any reasons!
BTW – no relation to Philip Roth

Comment by Harry Potter on 2011-10-07 06:42:14 +0000

You missed out reason number nine and three-quarters. Unlike my creator J. K. Rowling, you don’t have an OBE!

Comment by Dude With Attitude on 2011-10-07 14:34:49 +0000

None of these apply to me, could you come up with ten more reasons not to read your books please?

Comment by mistertrippy on 2011-10-07 16:06:05 +0000

Dude as Michael Roth pointed out nine hours before you – no reason is the best reason – so I don’t need to give no more. And the same applies to your ‘point’ Potter’s about the Kings X platform you claim to use… If my ten reasons don’t do it for you, then why not order Blood Rites Of The Bourgeoisie from Book Works? The link to the order page is above.

Comment by c on 2011-10-07 20:50:27 +0000

I hate Stewart Home so much I can’t explain why – it goes beyond words!

Comment by mistertrippy on 2011-10-07 22:16:56 +0000

And there I was thinking we could go from a to be again avoiding c, d and e. Just goes to show how wrong you can be!

Comment by d on 2011-10-07 23:48:05 +0000


Comment by mistertrippy on 2011-10-08 11:28:26 +0000


Comment by Elron Hubbard on 2011-11-23 00:19:40 +0000

Take things one step further by not doing them

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