10 Best Royal Deaths Of All Time!

1. Charles I – who was beheaded on 30 January 1649. The execution was at Whitehall in London. At the very least, the current British royal family need to be completely stripped of their titles and wealth – although there are those who think it would also be a good idea to behead, hang, or shoot them!

2. Cleopatra VII Philopator is by tradition said to have committed suicide on 12 August 30 BC by inducing a snake to give her a poisonous bite. She was following in the footsteps of her bigamous husband Mark Anthony, who topped himself after losing the Battle of Actium on 2 September 31 BC. Regardless of quibbles over the exact details of Cleopatra’s death, it marked the ultimate demise of the Pharaoh royal parasites in ancient Egypt.

3. Louis XVI – beheaded by guillotine at Place de la Révolution in Paris on 21 January 1793. This was an event that dealt a body blow to royal parasites in France.

4. Diana, Princess of Wales – who was fatally injured in a car crash in the Ponte de l’Alma road tunnel in Paris on 31 August 1997. It is unfortunate that her ex Prince Charles – current heir to the British throne – didn’t die with her!

5. Frederick, Prince of Wales – who died from a burst abscess in the lung on 20 March 1751 at Leicester House in London – nearly a decade before his scumbag father George II. There are, of course, millions around the world hoping that the arch-reactionary slimeball Prince Charles will follow in Frederick’s footsteps and drop down dead right now!

6. Nicholas II of Russia was condemned to death and then shot by Yakov Yurovsky shortly after 2.00 am on the morning of 17 July 1918. There is little in Bolshevism to be praised but getting rid of the Russian royal parasites was definitely one of its better ideas – much of the Russian royal family was shot at the same time as Nicholas II.

7. King Dipendra of Nepal – who shot himself with an AK 47 after going postal and murdering nine of his family of parasites at a house in the grounds of the Narayanhity Royal Palace on 1 June 2001. Among those Dipendra shot to death were his mother and father – King Birendra and Queen Aishwarya. Dipendra, who after shooting himself outlived his parents for three days, only got to be ruler while in a coma – making for a delightfully short reign!

8. Princess Grace of Monaco – who died in hospital on 14 September 1982, the day after suffering a stroke that caused her to lose control of her car and suffer serious injuries after it plunged down the side of a mountain.

9. George I of Greece – shot in the back by the anarchist assassin Alexandros Schinas at the White Tower in the city of Thessaloniki on 18 March 1913. Like Bolshevism, anarchism doesn’t have much to offer the working class, but Schinas’s practical opposition to monarchy and aristocracy is something with which most people will have some sympathy.

10. Queen Elizabeth II. Okay so she ain’t dead yet but there are millions of us in the UK looking forward to seeing the back of this particular royal parasite! But don’t forget kids, we still need to strip the entire British royal family of their titles and wealth!

And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!


Comment by michael maclean on 2011-11-16 12:49:49 +0000

One of the royal Stewarts blew himself up (accidentally) with his own canon as part of his coronation or wedding celebrations :-)) The canons were a gift from France :-)))

Comment by Rita Dean on 2011-11-16 14:17:32 +0000

Off with their heads!

Comment by PS on 2011-11-16 14:25:19 +0000

Q- How many Royals have been assasinated in the last 1000 years?
A – Not nearly enough.

Comment by Luther Blissett on 2011-11-16 15:37:58 +0000

It always makes me laugh that some consider Gustavus Adolphus Magnus (AKA Gustav II Adolf of Sweden) the father of modern warfare – because he died at the Battle of Lützen when he became separated from his troops while leading a cavalry charge. What a twit!

Comment by JJ on 2011-11-16 16:03:32 +0000

‘Man will not be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.’ — Louisa May Alcott

Comment by Willie Hamilton on 2011-11-16 16:08:06 +0000

The Queen is a clockwork doll, Princess Margaret a floozy, and Prince Charles a twerp.

Comment by Grim and Dim on 2011-11-16 20:47:24 +0000

“3. Louis XVI – beheaded by guillotine …. This was the event that finally put an end to royal parasites in France.”
Not true – there were three more French kings, plus a couple of Napoleons. As Leo Ferre put it:
On coupe une tete,
Par-ci, par-la,
Vingt ans apres,
Tiens vous voila.
It takes more than execution to get rid of a rotten system.

Comment by mistertrippy on 2011-11-16 22:50:09 +0000

You’re right of course… I should have written dealt a body blow and will change it to that now…

Comment by JC on 2011-11-16 23:04:45 +0000

What about King Henry the VIII who died of syphilis?

Comment by London Psychogeographer on 2011-11-16 23:39:16 +0000

Most of the secondhand book dealers I speak to tell me Prince Philip has the biggest collection of porn in the world. The British royal family are obviously a complete bunch of pervs!

Comment by michael maclean on 2011-11-16 23:48:54 +0000

I was asked what I was in a previous Life (people are usually Cleopatra et al) I said I was the flea that was inserted with a silver catheter up Henry VIII’s penis to cure him of syphilis. It did not work. even though the keeper of the stool was sure it would.

Comment by Punk Collector on 2011-11-17 00:03:13 +0000

Does anyone knnow the name of the London act whose single “Die Baby Di” was suppressed by cops just prior to Prince William’s birth? Do any still exist or were they all destroyed?

Comment by Cesar A. Romero on 2011-11-17 09:28:41 +0000

Q. What was Princess Diana’s last hit?
A. A cover of Pink Floyd’s The Wall!

Comment by Rough Trade Counter Man on 2011-11-17 09:47:45 +0000

@ PunkCollector – no but I remember the 7″ ‘Di and Dodi Do Die’ by Casseteboy.

Comment by Frank Gorshin on 2011-11-17 15:29:50 +0000

Q. Which king felt like a fraction of his former self?
A. King Henry 1/8th!

Comment by TE on 2011-11-17 16:01:25 +0000

no knighthood for you Stewart Home!

Comment by Phil Sick on 2011-11-17 16:12:47 +0000

Q. What’s the difference between Mister Trippy’s blog and Princess Diana?
A. People actually care when Trippy’s blog crashes….

Comment by Pauline Puke on 2011-11-18 14:20:43 +0000

Q. What was Princess Di’s favourite cocktail?
A. A wallbanger followed by a couple of chasers!

Comment by BT on 2011-11-18 15:04:11 +0000

Did you hear that Princess Diana was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood…

Comment by JL on 2011-11-18 15:23:56 +0000

The Ptolemiec kings of Egypt had a lot of odd deaths mainly due to three hundred years of inbreeding.

Comment by Michael Roth on 2011-11-27 05:16:09 +0000

It must have been hard to keep this list just to ten.

Comment by mistertrippy on 2011-11-27 12:10:48 +0000

It was but I can be discipline like that!

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