Dynamic Inertia – A Week Is A Long Time In Blogging

One time British Prime Minister Harold Wilson is often credited with coining the phrase ‘a week is a long time in politics’. When it comes to the internet things move even faster…. but the speed of these changes might be likened to ‘dynamic inertia’ (in both politics and blogging). The phrase ‘dynamic inertia’ has been used to promote the shake weight ‘exercise’ fad of recent years – and appears to have been coined for this purpose. Shake weights were marketed with adverts that featured women grasping these light dumbbell-like objects in their hands and jerking them about with their arms. The infomercials featuring this imagery went viral online because many saw in such hand and arm gestures a connection to onanistic sexual activities. There is now also a slightly heavier shake weight for men. The female shake weight has been marketed as trimming women’s arms and making them slimmer – whereas the manufacturers claim the male equivalent enables men to bulk up (although obviously what are essentially the same set of exercises cannot do both these things)!
Despite spurious claims by those marketing the shake weight, there is no scientific evidence to back up their assertions this expensive branded product is at all effective as an exercise aid. What the shake weight represents is a triumph of marketing over common sense – as do many other recent exercise crazes such as the power plate. Obviously any exercise is better than no exercise, but there are far more effective and less expensive ways to workout than using a shake weight or a power plate. What the people selling the shake weight have usefully done is provide us with a term to describe our current cultural condition. The phrase ‘dynamic inertia’ perfectly encapsulates the political and cultural situation we find ourselves in – which is no longer postmodern but has simultaneously failed to move on from the postmodern. This is a world in which capitalism (and thus official history) can only go backwards – and one where the products of alienated labour are still being falsely presented by our exploiters as having transformed themselves into ‘pure image’.
Obviously the only way to go beyond this post-postmodern condition is through the revolutionary transformation of capitalist social relations. This will be an overflowing in which we’ll be able to realise every aspect of ourselves as human beings, and together enjoy the wealth of this world in a truly collective fashion. Although it will number among the more minor benefits of communist revolution, I will at last be able to dispense with my spam filter, something I currently require to block ‘messages’ such as the following: “Discover The Untold Secrets Used By The World’s Top Cat Trainers To Make Their Kittens Listen To Their Every Command” (link removed). It should go without saying that we don’t want a society of ‘order givers’ and ‘order takers’ (or even one divided into ‘hep cats’ and ‘kittens’), we want a society of equals!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!


Comment by Michael Roth on 2012-01-08 23:57:43 +0000

Not sure about the cultural implications, but the shake weight has really helped me in my personal life.

Comment by TM on 2012-01-09 01:04:53 +0000

Everyone’s trying to shake the weight, when they should be starving for solid change.

Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-01-09 02:02:12 +0000

There was a programme about Fat Girls & Feeders on UK digital TV tonight… unbelievable, sad and ugly… and it was the men into the fat girls who were the real psychos… probably is the same on the fetish scene….

Comment by ArranJames on 2012-01-09 04:14:33 +0000

Once wrote a pretty awful poem with the name ‘Dynamic Inertia’ (the title had been given to me by a mad woman whom I was sleeping with at the time- how exciting!).
I quite like the idea that this culture is one giant eating disorder; just an episode of body dysmorphia in a particularly extended adolescence. I fancy a burger now.

Comment by Joe Cool on 2012-01-09 12:26:08 +0000

Never mind that, I’ve just become a vegetarian, but I don’t know what to eat, apart from Falafel and egg sandwiches! I don’t want to eat boring lettuce leaves, can anyone recommmend me good veggie nosh?

Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-01-09 13:43:13 +0000

You could try noodles, curry, stuffed aubergines, squash, all sorts of soups…there’s so much – just try to keep it varied…. Maybe get a veggie cook book….
And btw I bought I copy of I Just Don’t Care by Joe Cool and the Killers out of a bargain box about 35 years ago now!
@ ArranJames – sorry we seem to be departing from society as a giant eating disorder here…. where possible it is better to eat well, but junk food is a very good representation of and metaphor for capitalism! Did you write that poem after eating too many cheese burgers? That might account for the imagery….. junk food surrealism as a way of saving literature!

Comment by SH on 2012-01-09 14:56:42 +0000

hey now have a BDSM club here in Taiwan… Fat girls are an expanding market…

Comment by ArranJames on 2012-01-09 15:31:12 +0000

Oh but Mr.Trips, you’re forgetting psychiatry is a wonderful catchall. I propose we consider capitalism as EDNOS; Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.

Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-01-09 16:37:16 +0000

I see psychiatry as barking mad! But that’s no reason not to use terminology from this anti-science to (auto)-critique capitalism…..
@ SH Fat girls are to sexual fetishism what junk food is to American culture….

Comment by TM on 2012-01-09 17:14:19 +0000

do fries come with that shake?

Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-01-09 21:58:35 +0000

I understand there may be some health risk with the vibration of a shake weight… especially to the eyes (worse on a power plate)…. but maybe the vibes fry your brain too….

Comment by Onan The Barbarian on 2012-01-10 00:22:44 +0000

I thought masturbation was a poor substitute for sex until I discovered shake weights!

Comment by Catwoman on 2012-01-10 01:23:42 +0000

But what are “he Untold Secrets Used By The World’s Top Cat Trainers To Make Their Kittens Listen To Their Every Command”? Couldn’t you give us the link?

Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-01-10 22:48:12 +0000

Sorry I didn’t save the link – but I’m sure you could find it if you tried searching…..

Comment by Charles Atlas on 2012-01-11 00:40:06 +0000

These people stole it all from me…. I didn’t really get my muscles from my bullworker… it was all bullshit… I got my muscles by lifting weights…. but I invented the bullworker coz I wanted to sell a mail order product to guys who were fed up with having sand kicked in their face, and I didn’t want the postage costs to cut into my profits and sales…. Oh and don’t forget I sold my system as offering dynamic tension, dynamic inertia is just a minor adjustment of the term to avoid infringing my copyrights!

Comment by Joe Turner on 2012-01-11 10:57:48 +0000

I took my shake weights apart because they were useless for exercise – but the handles make wonderful dildos!

Comment by Billy B. on 2012-01-11 12:17:42 +0000

Nothing here but the recordings. Oiga amigos! Oiga amigos! Paco! Enrique!

Comment by Selina Kyle on 2012-01-11 17:10:11 +0000

I found that cat link but it was all about dogs *sighs*

Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-01-11 18:28:33 +0000

It’s a trolls life online!

Comment by Torok The Troll on 2012-01-11 22:59:58 +0000

What you know about trolling could be inscribed on an ant’s balls so shut the fuck up!

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